Hestadil Oneshots
by the league of thirteen
Summary: Hester x Anadil oneshots, simple as that! if you like hestadil, please like, follow, and comment a review! (it’s a new story and setting for each chapter, don’t be alarmed when chapter 1 doesn’t continue into chapter 2 and so on)
1. Chapter One

(Soulmate Tattoo Alternate Universe)

HESTER:

Hester knew it was going to be a problem when she found out about the tattoos and the soulmates and all of that lovey-dovey rubbish. Everyone knew that when you came of age to start looking for love, a distinct tattoo appeared on your skin. Somewhere in the world, your soulmate had the same tattoo printed on them. Which was, in Hester's mind, absolute bullshit.

Hester always had the same demon tattoo coiled around her neck since she was a child. When her poor, old crone of a mother died, a red-skulled, buckhorned demon appeared out of nowhere. It perched on her shoulder, wiping away her tears and comforting her like her own personal guardian angel. The naive little baby in Hester believed the demon would lead her into fate. Until, that is, she was accepted into the School for Evil.

Hester wasn't as gullible as she was a few years ago. She learned everything the hard way. Nevers weren't supposed to find love, and that was that. The demon wasn't her destiny, it was her weapon. Love was out of the question.

The day Ravan tried to ask her out, she'd released her demon on him, fangs and fire and all. "Have YOU got a demon, prat?!" she'd roared. Months afterward, Ravan was known as Pissbaby. For obvious reasons. Of course, the school rules didn't allow Hester to murder him- but she was pretty damn close. From that point on, Hester was the most feared student in the school, and she liked it that way. For the most part, everyone kept their distance. Dot and Ani were the exceptions, and honestly, the only two people worth giving a rat's ass about. Oh, and Sophie? Hester didn't even want to acknowledge her.

Puzzlingly, Ani was reserved and intense and solemn and snarky all at the same time, and Hester could never figure her out. In contrast, Dot was sweet and mushy and never shut the hell up. Regardless, they were loyal and not totally brainless, and that's all that mattered when it came to friendships.

Hester's issue was that she resented the whole tattoo soulmate idea in the first place. Admittedly, it was fun to watch as the Ever Boys and Girls scrabbled about to find their true match, and a few questionable Nevers frantically attempted to scrub their tattoos off to avoid being rejected by their peers. Sophie even faked a tacky heart on her wrist to prove she had a soulmate. But Hester's demon was nothing more than a weapon, right?

She struggled with the question, going so far as to seek Lesso's counsel in secret. "I can clearly see you have the spine to fight back, and a critical mind to go with it. All you're missing is the heart. Who are you fighting for?" she said. "Myself, so I don't get hurt" Hester answered, too quickly. Lady Lesso eyed her and smiled, like she knew something Hester didn't. Hester muttered a thank you and excused herself from the office.

ANADIL:

Unlike Hester, Anadil chose to hide her demon. She'd always seen herself as the odd one out, even though she fit in just as well as the others. Anadil felt so _wrong_ lined up next to her classmates, with her vampiric white skin, dull red eyes, and pet rats. Villains were born to be inventive and original and exciting, and those were words she thought she could never live up to.

Anadil liked to say she reclaimed her place as a loner, but in truth, she conditioned herself to detest any sort of socialization. (Big words, huh?) It was her only coping mechanism to deal with her insecurities, and yeah, she knew it. Over the years, she locked her emotions up behind invisible doors and stuck her head in an imaginary box. Anadil argued with herself that it wasn't claustrophobic, it was actually comfortable. For a while, she was content to run away from her anxieties and self-doubt, where nothing could faze her.

Then, Hester came barging into her life. No doors, no boxes, and no rules. Her volcanic energy burst right out of her and lit the room on fire. That girl was everything Anadil wanted to be... and sometimes, who she wanted to be with. Hester was simply the perfect villain. But she didn't look at her with jealousy, or resent, it was more like awe. Anadil would go so far to say she was beautiful. God, everything about that sentence was bad, and she was much too aware of it.

Things started going downhill the moment Anadil realized her feelings. At least, referring to the demon's presence. Anadil remembered when Hester called her Ani for the first time (preceding a backhanded compliment, of course) and she couldn't stop blushing for an hour. Nothing but a casual "Ani, you look better with your hair down, otherwise that atrocious braid makes you look like Dimwit Dovey". She was **Ani** now, and Ani wore her hair down if Hester liked it.

The thing about her feelings toward Hester... it manifested into that ugly, reckless demon.

She didn't want any trouble. Unfortunately, that's all it caused. The demon was a nuisance that stubbornly curled up around her ankle and never seemed to let go. Anadil missed the days when she wasn't burdened with the constant reminder of her stupid, little ... _inconvenience_ , but now, the demon was unleashed, free to do whatever it pleased. Mostly terrorizing her rats, messing up her room, burning down Sophie's wardrobe (who didn't stop screaming for at least three days) and in general making her life harder.

That was the difference between Hester and Anadil. She envied Hester's control over her demon, while day after day, she tried to chase down her own. Hester couldn't know about it. She just couldn't. The soulmate myth had to be a fantasy, and the matching demon tattoos? It was nothing more than a coincidence. Anadil didn't intend on losing a friend over a silly accident.

HESTER:

"Dot, we've been working way too hard on that love potion for Sophie," Hester said. "How's this for a Monday night: get a beer, smoke a blunt, call it a day?"

She needed something to distract her. Getting shitfaced wasn't ideal, but it was less risky than, let's say, dangling Hort from a tree by a wedgie and using his face as a target for a game of darts. Totally NOT from personal experience, by the way.

Hester answered her own question before Dot could answer (who was currently trying to eat a chocolate stapler without getting staples stuck in her teeth). "You should go find some of your little ' _friends_ ' and invite them" Hester offered with a sly smirk, knowing full well Dot would tell every student in Evil. Dot instantly spit staples in every direction and scurried out the door. "DON'T INVITE HORT" she shouted after her. "OR SOPHIE EITHER"

In a mere thirty minutes, everyone was drunk/high and dancing (including Hort and Sophie, together?). As for Hester, she was a bit cross-faded. No, more like a lot. Hester couldn't comprehend what was happening, but at one point, Ravan set off a firecracker down Vex's pants, and she could've almost sworn she'd seen Arachne and Mona make out beneath her bed. Dot was somewhere ranting about how no one was good OR evil (what was THAT all about?). Even her demon was long-gone. All she knew was the relentless earthquake of music pulsing through her bones, skin-on-skin contact with people she forgot the names of, and the paranoia bouncing around inside her.

Hester suddenly became face to face with Ani, who somehow looked more dead than usual. Her red eyes filled up with tears. Hester, who wasn't in the best mental state right now, jumped to the conclusion that Anadil's eyes were bleeding. "What happened, sweetheart? Catch ya in the Doom Room again?" she drawled, not exactly sure of the words slouching on her lips. Ani dodged past her and headed straight for the bathroom. Hester quickly caught up with her, one sloppy footstep at a time, and grabbed Anadil's hand about to shut the door. "Ani, talk to me, why won't you talk to me?" Hester slurred, still holding on to her best friend's wrist in a death grip.

"I don't want to talk to you while you're like this"

"I don't care, I don't careeee, I'm staying... with you, I'm staying with you right here"

"Okay, fine. In the bathroom, where no one can hear us"

Anadil pushed Hester's staggering body into the bathroom and locked the door behind them.

"You're full of crap today, Ani"

"I just need to say something"

On cue, Anadil's demon peeked out. Slowly, it inched closer and closer to Hester and swiped its tail on her nose, like a weird demon greeting. At the same time, Hester's demon materialized between them, hissing affectionately. Hester and Anadil watched, dumbfounded and speechless, as the two demons playfully nipped at each other's horns and chased each other's tails around in circles, like two old friends.

Hester stared at Ani, trying to think of something to say. "You believe in that thing, that- what's it called? What is it? Souls? Soul-love? Soulmates!" Hester said, desperately trying to make a coherent sentence. "We're in love?! Okay, Ani... I'll be in love with you... if you want- okay? I am. Love. You and me. Souls. Okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?" Neither Hester nor Anadil was okay. Hester's mind was going a thousand miles per hour, and maybe if she tried hard enough, she could will her mouth to go faster.

Before Anadil could react, Hester flung open the door and screamed as loud as she could, "I'M IN LOVE WITH ANADIL!"

The party stopped.

She blacked out.

ANADIL

It was quite an ordeal dragging an unconscious Hester back into the sanctuary of the bathroom, with Sophie banging her fists on the door demanding answers to the stunt they just pulled.

She just left Hester sitting in the sink with the tap running all night, letting it overflow in questionably dirty water.

Anadil didn't know what to do next, the hurricanes already at war inside her mind. Everything hurt like hell. It was one thing revealing her feelings to a drunken girl who'd forget about it in the morning, but it was another to announce it to everyone.

All Ani could do was stick her pointed nose in a textbook like always, and just wait.

Hester woke up a little after sunrise, instantly meeting Anadil's tired eyes.

"You, Hester, are never partying, ever again" Anadil said, cringing inwardly at the sandpaper laugh scratching its way out of her throat.

"For the love of Satan, tell me why I feel like Ursula just crawled into my stomach" Hester rasped.

"Hmm, I don't know. Guess" Anadil answered dryly. She slammed the book shut.

"No, tell me what happened"

"You had a party -extremely irresponsible, by the way- and you basically confessed our love to the entire School of Evil"

"Confessed our WHAT?!"

Anadil rolled her eyes as Hester promptly fell out of the sink and hit the floor.

She pointed to their two demons, unashamedly cuddling in the corner, their spiked tails knotted together. Hester looked like she was having a stroke (maybe she was, who knows?).

"Class starts in five minutes, and they're all waiting for us. Let's get out there and face the world, babe" Anadil said nonchalantly, slicking out the word "babe" on her tongue. It felt nice, and perhaps brave to say it.

"What the f* did you just call me?"

"Play along with the game and pretend we're dating, love. Or else, you'll be utterly humiliated" Anadil said shrewdly. Her plan was coming along perfectly. She whistled for the demons to sit on their shoulders, still wrapped up in an embrace.

Anadil seized Hester's hand and opened the door to a crowd of people, trying not to think so much. Usually this terrified her, but Hester was here. And that was all it took.

A horribly hungover Sophie perked up. "Slip a love potion in Hester's whiskey, did you, Ani darling?" Sophie tittered.

Hester smiled triumphantly and swiftly stole a kiss from Anadil's cheek, getting a few gasps from her goggling peers.

She retorted, "Ani didn't need it anyways"


	2. Chapter Two

"I'm tired of Sophie. I'm tired of her" Hester ranted for the umpteenth time.

"She's the worst" Anadil agreed. She poured them their what, sixth, seventh shot of tequila? At this point she wasn't even listening, she would agree to anything Hester said. Best girlfriend ever, huh?

"Miss Woods Beyond 2018 can't be THAT stupid, right?"

"Right" Anadil said.

"But- I can't tell who's side she's on, much less her motive! Is Sophie a traitor or a fraud?

"...Yes" Anadil responded blankly, her eyeballs retreating up into her head. Truth be told, Anadil couldn't even pretend to give a shit about Sophie. She was just another distraction in their meaningless little lives.

Hester continued to ramble angrily about the Reader.

Wait a minute. Wait a damn minute. A repulsive idea wormed its way into Anadil's head and began to eat her up like a parasite. What if Sophie was Hester's distraction? What if Hester took an interest in Sophie? What if Hester left her for that coconut exfoliation freak? The whole world would crumble to dust and descend straight into Dante's Inferno. She was already going to hell for being gay or whatever, but she would not let that happen, not even over her dead body.

"I think you should challenge Sophie" Anadil suggested impulsively.

"That's a great idea! This is why I always liked you" Hester shouted, lighting up.

"Something different and weird and insane and-" Anadil went on, having absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"Anadil, you're going to hate me for this..." Hester warned.

"Do I look like I care anymore? Whatever it is, it won't be that bad. I'm already wasted, can't we just make out until we fall asleep?"

As it turned out, it WAS that bad.

"Hester, this is really not what I was expecting out of you" Anadil muttered, smearing concealer rather sloppily on Hester's eyebags.

Hester snickered back, "Dropping my education, career, and reputation to turn into the perfect fairytale princess Sophie wants to be? Sounds like me!"

Anadil poked her in the eyeball, hard enough to hurt but gentle enough to seem like an accident. This was not what she envisioned when Hester got back at Sophie.

"Ani, I thought you were supposed to give me a birdbrain barbie make-over" Hester complained.

In annoyance, she tugged at the tight braids (that had an odd resemblance to Medusa's turn-you-to-stone snake hair), complete with authentic serpent fang pins speared through each convoluted knot on her head.

"That's what I did," Anadil replied. "You reckon you could do any better?"

Hester stared distastefully at herself in the mirror. She looked nice?

"I guess it's not bad" she commented, trying to see the pros instead of the cons.

Pro: The vinyl dress (completely backless and almost frontless) was attention-seeking and flashy and screamed dominatrix chic. Anadil couldn't look directly at her or else she would faint.

Con: It was literally cut out of Mona's old smelly curtains.

Pro: She wore her lucky boots, the ones she'd had for years and had "sentimental value" for no reason.

Con: Anadil had fixed suspiciously daggerlike heels to the bottoms, and now Hester had to relearn how to walk.

Pro: She had makeup on.

Con: She had makeup on.

"Let's go f*ck her up" Hester declared.

She strode deliberately into the dining hall, where Sophie held her Heels For Hillbillies speech, making sure to catch everyone's eye.

"SOPHIE! PRINCESS SOPHIE! MEET. YOUR. RIVAL." Hester roared, voice raspy. Crowds of Nevers and their questioning eyes whipped to their former Class Captain. Anadil followed quickly behind Hester, about to pounce if anyone wanted to protest. Sophie stood high and mighty on a podium, impatiently tapping her acrylic nails on the microphone.

"Don't make a fool of yourself, darling. It must be hard for you to deal with being second best, but that's no excuse to-" Sophie began to say ever so sweetly.

"Interrupt? I'm SO sorry. I've had enough of this sham" Hester cut in. As if to prove her point, she stomped up to the podium and stole the microphone from Sophie's hands, ripping off a few nails in the process.

Anadil wasn't looking at Hester anymore, she had her eye on the Nevers, whom she knew their boiling point wasn't very high. She noticed everything. How inaudible curses raced beneath people's tongues. Invisible guns were cocked and imaginary knives were drawn. Anxious hands fidgeted in their pockets, ready to fly at any moment. Anadil could've almost sworn she saw a little boy in the back set a bomb and a timer to 30 seconds. In half a minute, everything would blow. And everyone would act as if nothing happened.

"Is this your queen? If all I have to do is lie, then so am I!" Hester proclaimed mockingly. In her temper, she tackled the poor girl to the ground, madly tearing off the poor girl's falsies and smudging her makeup.

Embarrassed, Anadil quickly slunk into the throng of second-year Nevers, attempting to hide her stark white skin in the sea of black thorny tiaras and spray-tanned bodies. Apparently, that was Sophie's new trend of the month. Anadil looked frantically for someone to speak out, to stop her, to do anything. But they just bit their tongue and watched.

Sophie broke free from Hester's chokehold and threw her pumps to the ground. She pointed to the demon girl, who slouched on the floor with bloody knees and a crushed ego.

"Hester's right. I'm a fake. She's a fake too. You're all fakes. That's what everyone does. I happen to use it to my advantage" Sophie said.

The bomb went off.

The army charged, some attacking Hester, some attacking Sophie, some attacking each other. There was no right or wrong, there was only violence. Senseless and brutal, claws and teeth and weapons and fists, just the way Nevers liked it. "THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET" Anadil laughed before falling to the ground. She secretly hoped that everyone else would trample her and that she'd die from a good kick to the head. And well, she didn't think she'd wake up from that. Anadil opened her eyes to harsh fluorescent light and Agatha's boot in her face. Hester was behind her, bruised and battered and smiling like a serial killer. Yeah, that's her stupid wicked girlfriend. That's why she loved her.

Anadil got up and the world swirled around her. Dazed and dizzy, she staggered over to Hester and hugged her. "You idiot! Don't think for one second that I'll defend you just cuz I like you. You thought you were a good guy, and you made a mistake, and you lost. Losing is a Never thing, NOT a Villain thing" Anadil spluttered out.

"Villains lose too. It's okay to lose" Hester whispered. She felt different in Anadil's hands. Softer, maybe.

"I guess I still like you, loser"

"Yeah, well, you're GONNA"


	3. Chapter Three

a cinderella story

(apologies in advance for bad grammar, plot, and writing in general)

just here for the aesthetic

ANADIL:

I think everyone here knows my name. They all know my story. Anadil, the part nymph; the skeleton girl with silver skin and paper hair; kicked like a dog on the streets; Lord Pollux's exotic souvenir from India; his darling freakshow, the creature, the alien, on and on and on. (All lies, with bits of truth to stuff the holes). I think it's stupid how easily rumors and lies can fall into nobles' heads- it must be to fill the emptiness. He's adopted children before, many of them hungry and tortured, brought back to life under his benevolent care. Just as his son turned 13 and boarded a ship to sail him around the world, Lord Pollux put his fatherly hand on me. I vaguely remember sitting in a rickshaw and trying to catch pebbles that the wheels kicked up. I'd finally succeeded and bit down on it, pretending like it was candy. As I chewed, I saw a carriage barreling down the hill. I'd thought nothing of it. Then I'd fallen. Any memory after that was of the palace and the royal life. Bubble baths, laced up corsets, and following Lord Pollux around like a pet. Everything I felt and touched was rich and beautiful, and I was an impostor, but at the time? It was a dream.

Since Lord Pollux died, all anyone can talk about is me. It's scary, though nothing I'm not used to. Don't they have problems in the real world? Aristocrats' biggest problem was if I was going to marry the prince, if i would become a politician like him, irrelevant things like that (1. Prince Vex has way too many ladies in line- even with our friendship he'd give me a ticket and a number 2. definitely not). But there's no use in trying to dispel gossip, not when it's about your own self. The only thing I can do is fuel the fire. I could be someone they've never seen before. I don't have to be shy. I can be different (in a good way, not the different that makes me a target). I'll write my own stories, I'll be their little mystery, their prettiest muse. Blame it on the mourning.

HESTER:

I'm really not supposed to be here. I'm a thief for a living, and I share a run-down apartment with two other girls. Dot's a chef and Agatha a governess. Dot's friend Robin hooked me up with a "foolproof" in to the Prince's ball: dress up as a man and say you're Lord Pollux' adopted son. He had a lot of them, I guess? I looked (more or less) like a man anyway, Robin assured me, I just needed to dress the part. In return, I'd steal as much shit as possible and pay half of the goods.

I don't know why, but standing in an itchy black suit I'd lifted straight off the seamstress mannequin and my hair greased to the scalp, (especially next to all the nobles in line), something didn't sit right. I felt like everyone knew who I was, they were just waiting for the right time to bite. But none did. The guards didn't blink an eye when I shuffled in, head down. I wanted to pump my fist in the air, clash a beer bottle with an ex-pirate or scullery maid. I must have been the greatest fraud in the world, a peasant passing for an aristocrat. Fucking unheard of. It was my best secret, and yet, looking around, I had no one to tell. I'd save my secrets for later.

ANADIL:

Word gets around fast. Yeah, I'm talking about Lord Pollux' son. I wanted to see him for what he really was. I strode into the ballroom, suddenly swirled into a spinning kaleidoscope of color and light. People whisked by me, armored with gold-polished skin swathed in heavy silks and wools and furs; smiles too big for their faces flashing the rubies and emeralds between their teeth. I spotted Prince Vex from across the room, cornered at the bar by a posse of not-so-secret admirers intent on getting him drunk. It was a good thing they were pretty, or else he wouldn't have indulged them for a second. He shot me a look. I hurried over.

"Lady Anadil, how lovely!" he said crisply. His voice rang through the girls' diamond-cuffed ears and they stepped to the side, throwing a few sneers my way.

"Girls, meet my dearest friend Lady Anadil," Vex said. "If you didn't know, she's the daughter of the late Lord Pollux".

"Adopted daughter" leered a girl with her lips stained purple.

"Her opinion doesn't matter" I told myself. "I've got a persona to put on"

I ran my fingers through the prince's hair and Vex, amazing actor Vex, didn't even flinch. I grinned graciously at his suitors all trussed up in satin. We were about to ruin their nights.

"And soon to be princess" I added. The girls' jaws fell open. Purple Lips' mouth stretched like a rubber band.

"So it's true!" she yelped shrilly. Vex just put a finger to his lips and quirked his pointed ears up, as if to say, "who knows?". .

He stirred the pot faster. "I apologize, I have to reject even MORE princesses tomorrow. And guess what?"

"What?!" They leaned in.

"I won't say who, but I've dated every one of them" I said.

Instantly, the girls glanced at each other, eyes wide, and scattered. And just like that, we were alone. They drunk that concoction like it was a cocktail. It won't be long before the others sip the same poison. This was going great.

"Nicely done" I complimented.

"You too" Vex replied.

"Did you hear anything about Lord Pollux's son?" I asked curiously.

"I think I found him. He acts nothing like us." Vex said, knowingly pointing at a tall, androgynous figure standing awkwardly in the center of the ballroom and wearing a suit two years out of fashion.

I couldn't help myself. I went over and "accidentally" nudged the poor boy on the shoulder. He whipped around, and suddenly I was met with an alien. What struck me first was how odd he looked; like he had taken a plastic surgery knife and sharpened away at his nose, his cheekbones, his jaw. (Contour? Something like that). The harsh white liner contrasted against his slit-like eyes, the dark raspberry lip punctuated his sallow skin. Definitely a poser.

"I'm Lady Anadil. Who are you, if I may ask?" I said sweetly, trying not to scare him. I offered my hand as a hint. He understood.

The boy kissed my knuckle and easily swayed us into the Cotillion, sneaking an arm around my waist. I shivered beneath his touch. "I'm Lord Prynne, er, Lord Pollux' adopted son. We haven't met" he answered, his voice unusually high pitched for a- I studied him closer, up and down. Narrow shoulders, feminine hips, soft skin. Okay, he was a girl. That's fine.

"Did you know I'm the daughter of Lord Pollux?" I said boldly.

She stopped short for a second, and then quickly slid back into step. Damn. No reaction, nothing.

"So we're siblings" she said.

"Are we? I don't think so" I dared her, looking her in the eye. The song ended. For a moment, I thought to send her to the guards to deal with. But I knew I'd be a hypocrite, because honestly, I was just as much of a fraud as she was. What else could I do except lie? I had to run with it.

I took her hand and led us into an alcove of the ballroom reserved for courting and proposals, with sofa booths and lanterns instead of cocktail tables and chandeliers. Quiet yet still public. No one would hear and everyone would see. "Look, I'm sorry about this. I don't know you, you don't know me, but you just have to play along", I whispered into the pretty girl's ear. Before she could respond, I pressed her against the wall, leaned in, and...

HESTER:

What the fuck?! What the fuck was happening to me? How did I end up kissing Anadil? Or, fake royal sister? Or, person that saw straight through my act and didn't even call security and was now making out with me in front of hundreds of millionaires? Jesus Christ.

I broke away for a second, only to find ten people goggling at us. Ten multiplied into twenty. I turned back to Anadil, who grabbed my face again- my cap tipped over and my long hair spilled out. And suddenly I was a girl again. Great. Just great.

"I have to go" I told her, cursing under my breath. Who cares about Anadil, I just didn't want to be arrested. I snatched her hand again and nearly sprinted out of the ballroom.

"Upstairs" Anadil commanded. We dashed up the steep silver staircase, pushing past maids and butlers until we reached the rooftop. It was all but silent, except for the dull murmur of voices and the occasional clash of champagne glasses below. Maybe it would have been better to drown in the sea of spectators. I felt uncomfortable being alone. And especially so high up, where one wrong move could send me to my death. I tried not to think about it. There were other matters to attend to.

"I should've expected something like this to happen," Anadil sighed. "An insignificant low-life sneaking into a ball, blowing my cover, I mean, why not? I think I've done enough damage anyway"

"I'm blowing your cover? You were the one that kissed me first." I burst out. "I thought we had a little agreement"

"Tell me, what is that agreement?"

"We weren't going to expose each other"

"What else was I going to do? The kiss wasn't the catalyst, it was the long-lost brother. It was a story, with plot-twists and unreliable narrators, and people were into it. You don't care about my story." Anadil retorted, like that justified everything. I had no clue as to what she was talking about.

"Think of it my way! Everyone knows that I'm here illegally, and you practically ratted me out!"

"You're supposed to be my secret love affair, not some irrelevant GIRL"

"Well, good thing everything is about you, because I'm going to be 'some irrelevant girl' in prison"

Anadil began to grind her teeth. "Okay. Sorry" she reluctantly said. It was more of a "I can't believe I'm letting her talk instead of me" than a "I apologize for being a selfish, thoughtless brat".

"You don't understand my situation. I could be hanged for this. All you're going to get is a few disapproving looks," I explained as calmly as I could manage. She didn't answer, so I continued; "Don't pull strangers into your own drama, and don't fucking blame me for something that's your fault"

We didn't speak again for awhile. We definitely didn't look at each other.

It was hard not to, though. She was pretty, like a ghost in the shadow and an angel in the moonlight. Too bad it had to be wasted on her.

I'm sorry" she finally repeated, but she seemed a lot more sincere. "Do you want to go downstairs?"

The next thing I knew, she was holding my hand, we were walking down the stairs, and we were in what seemed to be her room. I can't really tell you what happened after that. For... you know, reasons.

Weirdly, we ended up learning too much about each other. I'll spare you the bullshit of her sob story. Basically, her life was taken over by Lord Pollux, who was known to adopt random poor children he found and raise them "the right way". (Which is why it wasn't very hard to convince anyone that I was his adopted son). She was surrounded in glitz and glamour; she was dragged down by criticism and drugged up with praise. The result of this childhood was a massive fuck-up of Anadil's mind. She was fighting to get a grip on morality, emotions, and common sense. Now that Lord Pollux wasn't around, she was nothing.

It was a good story. Anadil craved a sequel. It's why she was so bent on causing drama. She was, at this point, dangerously drunk and having a meltdown. I decided to console her by asking if she wanted to lay down.

I woke up before dawn and made sure to raid her shelves and drawers before I left. She was asleep, there wasn't much of an issue. Except that for some reason I couldn't find one of my shoes. I had to go home without it. Good thing they were Agatha's.

ANADIL

I'm ashamed to say I woke up thinking about her. I tried to recall what had happened- We'd talked about everything, our lives and families, our darkest secrets, things you would never share.

She had an certain air of quiet confidence that made you believe everything she said, kind of like a wise mentor was reincarnated into a sarcastic, vulgar smart-ass. She had me listening to her every word, noticing her every movement. There was only her in that room, sprawled on the bed and whispering her little stories to the spirits. I can't believe I'd counted 8 hours before I was really alone.

I don't know why I keep talking about her, but it's distracting, and here I am sliding open my wardrobe door to find it bare, every one of my gowns gone, and suddenly I had a reason to be distracted. I found a shoe. Just one. Like someone had deliberately left it there for me to find. I put it in my coat.

HESTER:

"What happened?! We've been waiting for you all night" Dot cried out, running into me and smashing me with a hug that damn near killed me. "Nothing happened", I shrugged it off. Dot didn't accept this answer, and basically wheelbarrowed me into the apartment. It was far from nice: with its dilapidated cardboard walls and creaky furniture. A downgrade of scenery, considering where I just crashed. She bellyflopped me on the futon, right next to Agatha. Aggie's permanent scowl flattened. "I didn't get any sleep last night from Dot worrying so much, so that ball better have been amazing," she complained. "Tell us about it, I think you owe me that much". After some bribing, guilt-tripping, and whining from Dot, I obliged. With as little details as possible.

Agatha whistled when I finished. "I think that girl likes you" she said, smirking. She released a hand from Dot's motormouth, who instantly started chittering away like a chipmunk on crack cocaine. "That's such a cute story! You guys can get married, if it's not illegal. Everything would be so perfect and pretty and you'd still come back to visit us even when you're famous and rich, right?"

"Dot, it was just a meaningless one-night-stand. Nothing is going to come from it" I reasoned. Agatha just frowned at the ground. "Hester, where's my other shoe?"

ANADIL:

Vex stopped me in the middle of the hall on his way to breakfast. He was supposed to pick a princess from the line-up of girls to be his wife, and judging by his glum face that sagged with a hangover, he was not excited. "Anadil, can you do me another favor? I have to-"

"I'm on it," I cut him off, reading his mind. "We'll say something about you not wanting to propose to one of my exes, and I got sick from the ball".

"Thank you so much, I mean it"

"Yeah, aren't you such a good friend? Last night was-"

It was his turn to interrupt. "pretty nice dancing with what's-his-name?" Vex teased. I blushed so hard I might as well have been sunburnt. Vex prodded my side, ordering me to speak.

"Dancing! Yeah, dancing, was, um, fun" I choked out. My mind wandered off to her, dancing. Wait. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about her this much. Damnit, Vex.

Vex's mischievous grin reappeared. "Well, someone got LAID!" he said enthusiastically.

Why are you so happy about it?" I accused.

"Anadil, you're a nun. Of course I'm happy for you." Vex answered.

"You're the one who's dodging ladies left and right. Perfectly nice ones, too. Oh, she's allergic to strawberries? Nope! She has one invisible pimple? Goodbye! Maybe I'll just fake my own death, the possibilities are endless!" I mocked back.

"Okay, fine, I'm horrible, we know! Just don't be like me!"

"I KNOW i'm not like you! I'm not in love, but it certainly feels like it, and now I'm going clinically insane" I ranted.

"Anadil, you couldn't have caught feelings THAT fast! Maybe I know her, what's her name?"

I fell silent.

A laugh exploded out of Vex's mouth before he could resist it.

"I just didn't get to know her enough"

"We're finding her"

"That's impossible"

"I bet you it's not"

And with that, Vex marched to the library, and I had no choice but to grudgingly follow him. He ushered me into a reading chair, grabbed a book of maps, and began flipping through it with such vigor that I was getting tired just watching. The conversation went like this: A badly written screenplay of the #1 idiotic exchange of words I've ever heard. For Vex, who endured this everyday listening to the voice inside his head, this probably only counted at #2.

Vex, pointing out the obvious: "She must live in one of the poor sectors."

Me, exasperated: "That doesn't narrow it down. Can we just stop now?"

Vex: "Anadil, get it through your head, I'm your matchmaker now. Don't try to fight me, you know damn well I'll win"

Me, bitterly: "Fine"

Vex, being an imbecile: "I remember she had a suit and short hair, she needed to pass as a guy to go unnoticed. Or, do you think her plan was to fuck you all along?"

Me, wanting to defend myself: "That's not very-"

Vex, muttering as if I didn't hear: "Never mind, you look like a lesbian. She wasn't expecting you"

Me, taking out the girl's forgotten shoe: "I should tell you, uh, she left one shoe in my room"

Vex, the new Nancy Drew: "Who the fuck loses their shoe? I think she went home, she's not running off anywhere like that."

Me, exhausted of doing this dialogue format: "It might be a sign"

"It's not even her shoe, it's way big."

"Borrowed?"

"Hey, today's Sunday, maybe she'll be in the markets. Nice weather out, peak selling time, enough customers. She's going to be looking for ONE customer in particular, though. We'll search for those shoes"

"Okay, so?"

"So, we're leaving"

"Wait, what?!"

"Hurry up, she's not going to fuck herself"

"Vex, you're kidding, right-"

HESTER:

Robin Hood was late. I hung around Dot's Chocolate Everything stall, waiting for that chivalrous alcoholic foxface. Dot was as happy as a clam selling her wares, and there I was, "ruining the fun" as Agatha said. What was she doing? Reading a damn book. What was I doing? I sulked. Not five minutes later, I saw a familiar face in the sea of shoppers. The girl from last night. She tottered around a few stalls anxiously with her hood up, and the lanky, leprechaun-faced boy at her side scribbled notes on a notebook. I was a moron for thinking I could get away with stealing from the royal palace, of all places. No wonder Robin didn't show up. Fuck, I was going to jail. Fuck, I needed to hide.

"Agatha, someone I know is here," I said under my breath. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might jump out of my throat. "She doesn't like me. And I think she's going to kill me" I looked at her with pleading eyes. I never wanted to ask anyone for money or help. But I needed it. I needed to disappear.

Agatha understood instantly. She passed me a wallet and a bag of doughnuts she'd meant for us to share. "Stay safe" she whispered, her mouth crinkling into a sad smile. The only Agatha smile I'd ever seen. I turned and started to run.

ANADIL:

I can't say I wasn't disappointed. The scene was perfect in my head: I'd give her the shoe, we'd laugh and kiss and maybe I'd ask her to join me for tea or something stupid like that. No, it just HAD to be realistic, didn't it? We'd questioned a gangly girl with a bowl-cut (must've been the one to lend the shoes) but of course, tight-lipped. Then the paparazzi attacked us, the guards showed up to take us away, etc. I was quarantined in my room for the crime of "lunacy", and I finished the night with a roast pig dinner on the floor of my bathroom watching the maids restock my closet. Rich people problems, I know, so depressing.

Someone shouted, "White girl!"

I turned in the direction of the voice. "Not exactly but okay!" I called. Vex and the bowl cut girl from earlier popped their heads up in the window. Bowlcut swung her arm up to lift the lock and I saw that she and Vex were handcuffed together. And neither of them were happy about it.

"Let me tell it" said Vex, who always tells it. "I was doing The Bachelor like a well-behaved child. She disguised herself as a princess. By the way, make a note on improving security, seems like any scumbag can get in here. Long story short, we're going to elope. A fake marriage outside of town, plus you'll come back with your true love's kiss. No one can top this telenovela"

He added, "The handcuffs REALLY seal the deal"

"You're irritating" she huffed. With some effort, they pushed the window open and hoisted themselves in.

Bowlcut thrust out her hand in a strong handshake (resulting in her conjoined twin nearly falling forward) and introduced herself as Agatha. "I'm not selling out Hester, just helping a friend" she started, and side-eyed Vex. "For a price"

"First of all, her name is Hester?" I asked.

Agatha put her hand out expectantly. "That'll cost you. I charge by the hour, too, so…"

Vex groaned and fished out of his pocket a silver coin. She took it without a second glance. "Let's hurry the fuck up and find your Cinderella, because I'm going broke" he muttered. We all collectively ignored the fact that he was a literal, actual prince. With that, they stumbled out the window again and landed lopsidedly on a horse waiting outside. A change of my clothes and the shoe of importance, and I was set. We were well out of the kingdom before it was clear where we were going.

"Why Ravensbow?" I inquired. It occurred to me that Ravensbow might be Hester's safe place. Her home. Too late. Agatha's hand whipped out. Vex satisfied it with a ring from his own finger.

"Ravensbow was where she grew up. Her family and friends aren't there anymore, but that's the only other city she knows. We'll split up and spread out to all the bars in the area"

"Anything else?"

"I want to warn you that Hester thinks you're out to get her. I don't know how she'll feel about you chasing her down because you LIKE her"

Vex scoffed. "You think she's gonna say no? Look at you, Agatha, you're helping us not out of the good of your heart, but out of greed". Agatha punched him before I could.

I winced at how horrible Vex could be sometimes. That was my mistake last night, being self-centered. I HAD to be in my own head, huh? Couldn't be a little more considerate towards others? My little bubble would kill me if it popped.

"How did you become friends with Vex?"

"I owe my job to him. Governess"

Lots of charity circling around the royal scene. It's all for press, so people can cry about how good their benefactors are. Glad to see that Vex wasn't any different. To be honest, the media is his little bitch. He could write entire plays on the glittering, rosy life he's made for himself. He's the best at it.

"Do you think Hester liked me?"

"I'm not great at reading emotions" (Which was just another saying for "I don't feel like telling you")

"Oh. That's fine."

Agatha snapped the cuffs off, and we moved in awkward silence until we reached Ravensbow.

We took Agatha's plan. No sign of Hester in any bar. Vex broke away to see an ex, and Agatha got stuck in a gambling ring (being very frugal). I was going solo. It would've been amazing if I didn't start hyperventilating whenever I was forced to talk to strangers or if I didn't accidentally body-slam every person in a quarter-mile radius, but alas, I wouldn't have been as charming as I was. Lots of charm when there's a rich girl with an IQ of 3 in the poorest town imaginable. Honestly, I couldn't even imagine it, and I was there. I ended the day passed out in a barn on a bed of hay. You know, like how Jesus was born.

"We need to stop screwing around," Vex said when he found me. "I forgot Agatha's paid by the info AND the hour."

"I'm not the one who wanted 'closure' with Ravan" I said, which seemed to shut him down. Agatha showed up a few seconds later. "Found her," she announced. "She won't get away this time"

By the hands of probably God himself Hester practically materialized in front of us. Damn if she wasn't a nymph or something mythical.

Hester looked at me with blackened eyes, eyebrows furrowed. "Hey" she coughed, rocking on one foot. It was like her consolation was eye contact, completely on overdrive. All other aspects of positive body language were abandoned. I wanted to make it better, but how?

"Hey" I repeated, and smiled a little.

Hester remained stiff and straight. "Why are you stalking me."

I took a deep breath. My confession had been constructed the night before. I had to execute it. Yeah, fuck that, nothing of the sort was coming out of my mouth. "Because… you forgot your shoe" I said half-heartedly. I gave Hester the shoe, which Agatha snatched right back. Her shoe. I knew that.

Hester turned her head to Vex, then Agatha, then back to me. "Can I talk to you in private?" (They took the hint)

"Anadil, what the hell did you think we were? A couple?" she exploded. My cheeks reddened.

She went on, getting louder. "How did you fucking blow this out of proportion. It was a one time thing. I thought we were on the same page. When you sleep with someone you don't know, it's just a rule that you forget about them. You don't know that shit?"

"I know you," I protested.

"YOU REALLY, REALLY DON'T," Hester's scream of frustration shattered the air. "You know absolutely nothing. Just stay in your own life"

I watched as she walked away, and sank, helpless, into the ground.

HESTER:

Three months later, I ran into her again at a party in Avalon. Lowest profile you've ever seen. A lot of shit had happened to her since. Lady Anadil was now a General. She'd become a personal advisor to King Vex, you should see her giving speeches. She claimed to be at the party for "networking", which I don't know what that means. It must've been hard for her to pass as commonfolk, because man, she does not talk like us. We got drunk. We hooked up. She didn't follow me this time. (She had better not.) What's strange is that the next party, about a month after, I saw her too. Same deal happened. By the third party, I caught on. It was a pattern. Maybe she WAS following me. We didn't talk about it. A year passed of this over and over, pretending to meet each other for the first time, suddenly getting short term memory loss when morning came. Neither of us minded, it was just an unspoken thing.

Agatha put my name down to work for the King's Guard. Of course I got fucking hired. All of a sudden it got real. Technically it's against the rules to fuck your boss, but it's not like we'll get caught.

Vex:

What do you take me for, an idiot? Of course all this was planned. Didn't go exactly the way I thought, but good enough. It's funny, too. Orchestrating precisely where Agatha would show up. Dot's my eyes and ears as the head chef, relaying kitchen maid gossip back to me. Watching them sneak around, the way they toss their emotions around like a frisbee, like a bet: who will make a move first. Ravan put his money on Hester (a diamond necklace that I own, by the way), while the other soldiers are trying to nudge Ani in the opposite direction. Everyone's eating it up. Reality TV, baby!


End file.
